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Don’t Say It. Do It. ACT.

June 28, 2021/in De-Clutter/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

How often have you heard a friend, family member, or co-worker say they are going to do something?

“I am going to lose weight.”
I’ve said this for the past year, while gaining (as of now) eight pounds. Weight, like clutter, fluctuates. We need to act consistently to lose weight and keep it off. Two of the biggest contributors to my weight gain are food intake (type of foods and amount consumed) and physical activities. After being too physical while playing basketball and bike riding, I hurt myself. I needed a walker after the first injury in October. The second, in January scared me. I vowed to do what it takes to gain greater strength, stability, and flexibility. I am making progress. It is painfully slow! I’m working up to another hike in the Sierras. (Last summer, I walked 13+ miles above 10,000′ elevation.)

“I am going to clear the mess on my desk.”
As I’ve written before, having a clean desk is an ongoing process. After all, you work at your desk. There will be paperwork and other stuff. I place paperwork, books, and more on my desk. When I get busy with something else or take a short trip, if I neglect the paperwork for long, it reproduces. Before it grows into a pile of overwhelming paperwork (POOP), I dig in and clear the clutter.

“I am going to read more books.”
Much of my accumulated possessions over a 41-year career, consists of paperwork and books. As I take steps to clear the clutter, I’ve internalized one valuable lesson. Do not bring home more stuff. Don’t subscribe to anything. Don’t buy any books. (I bought one earlier this year to read and review it for my other website.) Get rid of the stuff I have, first. I’ve been good about letting go. With all the reading I do online, I manage to finish reading about one book a month. I usually take notes and then place the book in a box to give-away. Earlier this year, I let go of one box filled with books that I read last year and ones I had no intention of reading.

The To-Do List goes on.

“I plan to watch less TV.”

“I plan to build my side-business on my days off.”

What happens?

Usually, nothing.

Why?

Because research shows that our brains consider the words we’ve spoken as if we’ve taken steps toward achieving the goal.

But have we?

No, we have only expelled warm air from our lungs through meaningless words.

Talking about doing something is not the same as doing it.

Last week, Eric advised, Trust Yourself to Declutter. Part of the STUFF acronym to Start, Trust, Understand, Focus, and Finish.

For our words to be meaningful, we must ACT.

Act (in order to)

Complete (the)

Task

After you have accomplished the task, it will no longer occupy your thoughts. You will not suffer seeing it undone. You don’t have to reschedule it anymore. In fact, you don’t have to even talk about doing it.

Why?

Because it’s DONE.

You ACTed.

How do you feel?

Trust Yourself to Declutter

June 21, 2021/in S.T.U.F.F./by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

In STUFFology101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter we use the acronym S.T.U.F.F. as a tool to help people deal with their clutter. At the beginning of 2021 I wrote about the ‘S’ in S.T.U.F.F., which is START.

Today I want to touch on the ‘T’ in S.T.U.F.F., which is TRUST. One definition provided by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “one in which confidence is placed.” For the purposes of our acronym and STUFFology 101 that means trusting yourself to define your clutter, since it is unique to you. And then trusting the process of decluttering you started in January.

For example, I keep my office organized if occasionally chaotic. That is, I know where everything is and where it belongs, but it is always susceptible to clutter creep. Mostly with paperwork from various projects and new books for my personal library. Though I STARTed in January with an oath to keep it organized, I must continue to TRUST my decluttering process each week to stay on track throughout the year.

We often say that removing the various forms of clutter in our lives is a process not an event. For me that is keeping my office organized year round. As different people and things move through my life I find this to be true, especially with physical clutter.

I challenge you to TRUST yourself to continue your own decluttering process and get your mind out of the clutter!

Thoughts of Decluttering while on Vacation

May 31, 2021/in De-Clutter/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

A couple weeks ago, I returned from a week in California’s Napa and Sonoma valleys. My primary goal was to enjoy the beauty of wine country and secondly, to do a little wine tasting. COVID altered my plans to visit Tuscany, so I adapted. My eyes feasted on rolling vineyards, the beautiful Castello di Amorosa in Calistoga (pictured) and Jordan Winery’s French chateau in Healdsburg. I enjoyed private reserve tastings at three wineries in Santa Rosa, Sonoma, and Napa. Nature gifted me with her flora and fauna in Geyserville and Santa Rosa. I was in awe at the awesome power of the winds and waves of the Pacific Ocean below Bodega Head.

Purging Thoughts

An interesting thing happened while on this trip. Occasionally, I had mind-dialogues with my ex. At first, I felt a put-off by these intrusive thoughts. Ultimately, I am an optimist. I realized (the next day) that I was engaging in a healthy purging of mental clutter. Indulge me as I explain.

In relationships, people have different views of the world and how to navigate life. In my marriage, I lived with a lot of projections and negativity. I had no idea my ex was projecting his fears upon me and our relationship until early on across a dozen therapy sessions. While his personality was calm and unassuming, and mine, more socially outward, I was letting him control me.

As I enjoyed exploring Napa and Sonoma in my own way, these thoughts entered my mind. I refuse to carry baggage, so I let in these periodic controlling statements and then released them.

If I am truly responsible for creating the new chapters in my life, I must continue clearing out the dark corners in my mind.

“No, let’s not go there. These rental cars are not maintained. What if the car breaks down?”

I went anyway. I drove 300 miles of planned and unplanned adventures during the four-and-a-half days of my trip. I explored miles of rural beauty in Geyserville upon the sommelier’s recommendation. I drove up the windy road to Bodega Head. At the top, the wind was blowing so hard, I lost my footing several times trying to take pictures and shoot video from the cliffs above the seashore.

“You said we’d leave at 8. It’s already 8:45 and we’re going to be late for the wine tasting. Money we already paid, wasted.”

I left Santa Rosa, drove an hour southeast for a carne empanada (yummy) at El Porteño in Oxbow Market. I walked around the market and bought spices. Then I took a leisurely drive up to Frog’s Leap. Arriving early for the 11:15 wine tasting, I meandered upon the scenic grounds.

I prefer to learn from and then let go of the past. I live attentively in the present and find little regret or guilt with statements like “I should have…” “I wish I had…”. I am continually curious, learning new things, and open to adventure.

An article about gray divorces brought me comfort as it reflected my own situation. Men and women, post-divorce, seek different things. In short, men leave long-term relationships to find someone with whom to fill a void they perceive was missing. Women thrive on new experiences.

After living four-plus decades with more negativity than our marriage could endure, this trip was a welcome-journey filled with uplifting yesses. There will undoubtedly be more inner dialogues in the future. I’ll pay attention, in order to let go of more mental clutter.

For more, read Your Choice – Declutter Your Mind or Your Relationship.

Kids, Cats, and Clutter

April 12, 2021/1 Comment/in De-Clutter/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

Is your living space in chaos or is it clean?

Maybe both depending on what area of the house you are talking about! Despite our best efforts, clutter often appears like magic. Kids and cats (or other pets) often contribute to clutter chaos.

We recently emptied out a closet containing assorted storage bins. Just because something is stored away neatly doesn’t mean it isn’t clutter.

Bin there done that.

In this case, the bins were full of old baby clothes and other assorted keepsakes from my daughters. Now that we have a granddaughter, time to check on those clothes! Styles change of course, but jeans are always useful.

Cats are like kids in that they have toys and other items that must be stored when not in use. If you have multiple cats, then you probably have multiple cat boxes to rotate as you replace them to clean out the used cat litter. Yet another item to store until needed.

Clearing the clutter to keep chaos at bay can be a never-ending process. Life is full of adventure with kids and cats (or other animals). Enjoy the moment. Some days the clutter gets ahead and that’s ok on occasion. Tomorrow you’ll have another opportunity to clean away the clutter.

Be at peace with your day if kids, cats, and clutter have their way.

Decluttering a Mountain in My Mind

April 5, 2021/in De-Clutter/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

What has felt like a mountain of clutter in my mind crumbled into a manageable molehill after I stopped procrastinating.

I have a banker’s box filled with miscellaneous paperwork. When I want to read something, I place it in this box. Unfortunately, this practice resulted in a growing collection of assorted papers and magazines for over a decade. While I’ve reviewed and tossed or shredded papers in this box, they reproduce.

I took some time on Easter Sunday, to go through this box after being inspired by memories of a “recovering procrastinator.” I searched online to see what she was up to. We hadn’t been in touch in a few years while I was going through a divorce. Rita Emmett had a marvelous sense of humor as she spoke and wrote about procrastinating. Sadly, she died almost two years ago.

During one of our last calls, Rita and I talked about how a molehill of tasks grows into a mountain, simply because we keep putting it off.

This box is in my office next to the file cabinet. Seeing it, reminds me daily to continue making progress. While the mountain seemed too high; once I started climbing, it began to crumble. My “treasured keepsakes” no longer held the importance I once ascribed to them.

Today, I have different needs and interests.

Paperwork is the most time-consuming. Some people will say, “I don’t even want to see it. Toss it.” Others will need to go through it once more. I am one of the others. It’s a good thing, because I found financial records that need to be shredded.

I also found a little surprise—my notes from a wine-tasting trip from about 20 years ago. Since I’m planning a trip to the same area next month, these detailed notes were a helpful reminder of my experiences.

While the contents in the box are more loosely spaced and easier to look through, I keep adding files and other paperwork. Still, I’m a lot further along thanks to inspiring memories of Rita.

BELIEFS – We Hold the Power to Change our Lives

March 22, 2021/in Reviews/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

Years ago, I was interested in a Florida-based program called The Avatar Course, from Star’s Edge International. Although I never took a course, I read with vigor each monthly magazine and the books. The ideas resonated with me.

Recently, I picked up Harry Palmer’s 1994 book for the fourth time. This is notable considering that I read books once (twice, at most) and then give them away. Titled, Living Deliberately, I have notes from each time I’ve read the book. This time, I took notes again and Chapter Nine, about belief systems hit the target.

Palmer’s work guides us into a deeper look into our beliefs. He writes about “transparent beliefs.” These are beliefs we hold without realizing they still influence our current actions even though they may no longer serve us. For example, when you were a child, a cat jumped from the counter onto your shoulder. It scared you. You screamed. You grew up hating cats. Yet, if you choose, you can use your adult mind to consider how cats behave and understand why you reacted as you did as a child. You may even choose to discover how loveable cats are (on their own terms, of course).

Palmer offers exercises called Resurfacing to help us explore our inner selves. I learned that it’s up to me to create and discreate my beliefs, which affect how I view the world.

What a POWERFUL statement. After all, what is real? Only what we think is real. What do we think? We think based on what we see. What do we see, or rather, how do we see? We see through the lens of our beliefs.

We could have applied these lessons during this past year’s elections and during the COVID quarantine.

Applying the information in Living Deliberately helps us to regain control over our lives, if we choose to do what makes sense for us now.

Palmer writes about four levels of Beliefs. The fourth level gives us the greatest flexibility over how we experience our surroundings. Each of us has the power to change how we see our world and get rid of the mental clutter. Again, what is real? Each of us will see something different.

It’s hard opening up to other ways of seeing. Yet, it’s doable. With practice, it becomes easier to let go of the beliefs we believe reflect the world when so many different points of view are possible.

We can begin by questioning what we believe. For example, in trying to declutter your material things or your thoughts, ask yourself, “Why am I holding onto these _______?” “Why do I believe that _______ people who voted for _______ are _______?” We may find that there are other reasons for our beliefs, such as things our parents taught us based on their own experiences. It’s likely, their experiences do not apply to our lives, today.

When we honestly look at and let go of our beliefs that don’t serve us any more, we grow empowered.

Discreating these beliefs helps us to feel lighter and move more freely in the world.

STUFFology 101 Featured on Redfin!

March 15, 2021/in News 'n Views/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

Don’t miss the recent Redfin article STUFFology 101 was featured in:

“11 Ways to Declutter and Organize Your Home Office to Promote Productivity”

Since the start of March 2020, many of us that made the daily commute into work were forced to transition to working from home. If you’re still working from home a year later chances are your workspace has become messy and cluttered with paperwork, bills, and mail. It’s next to impossible to be productive in an office taken over by clutter. Not only do you feel distracted and stressed, but sometimes you can’t even find paperwork when you really need it. But with a little guidance, you can transform your cluttered nightmare of an office into a functional workspace.

Redfin asked us (STUFFologists Brenda Avadian and Eric Riddle), along with other experts from New York, NY to Sacramento, CA, to share our best tips and tricks on how to declutter and organize your home office so you can be back to feeling productive in no time. Check out what we had to say!

11 Ways to Declutter and Organize Your Home Office to Promote Productivity

Decluttering for Relaxation on Presidents’ Day

February 15, 2021/in De-Clutter/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

Taking time to declutter on your day off can help you relax. I realize this may seem counterintuitive but think about how much better you feel after clearing the clutter from even one small space.

Today is Presidents’ Day in the United States and many people have the day off since it is a Federal Holiday. If you have the day off, consider taking time to declutter.

I take time to dust, clean, and consolidate items (mostly books, but other select stuff as well) on my bookshelves on such days. This has the dual benefit of keeping things tidy and rediscovering books I may have forgotten. For example, The Arrow Book of Presidents by Sturges F. Cary

is a book I have owned since grade school. I keep it because it sparked my lifelong interest in history. For me it is NOT clutter. Processing these items as I go through my bookshelves is a simple way for me to relax.

If I find items that have become clutter to me as I clean, I set them aside to donate or pass along to a friend. This does not have to take huge amounts of time. Do not overthink it, take some small action to declutter today!

Interested in history like me? Just click on the links for additional information about George Washington’s Birthday and how we (in the USA) came to celebrate Presidents’ Day. Bonus: Famous quotations from George Washington.

Brenda Avadian 2021

Sometimes, It’s Just A Matter of Removing ONE Item

February 8, 2021/in S.T.U.F.F./by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

There are times when I’m feeling distracted and can’t focus on what I’m working on.

Sometimes, it’s because there are things on my desk that creep into my focused attention on what needs to be done. Take the bubblegum wrapper that I always save but rarely use to wrap my chewed gum in before throwing it in the trash. Or the description of how to use the flexible phone stand I received as a gift.

The reality is these are minor items that crowd our focus and grow into major excuses for why we are not able to finish our work in less time.

All I need to do is file away the instructions in my Products Information folder, which is in the file cabinet four feet from my office chair.

The bubblegum wrapper? I almost always wrap my chewed gum in a used facial tissue instead.

The yellow pouch holds my Bluetooth earpiece, which belongs in my purse. I mainly use it in the car to reduce the many distracting background car noises for whomever I am talking with.

The 2009 article about IRA to Roth conversions came to the surface when I was going through an old investment folder. I saved it to gain hindsight as to how laws change over the years. After all, by the time I’m ready to tap my Roth IRA for living expenses, the tax laws may change once more.

As Eric Riddle noted in his procrastination article last week, “big or small action… kills procrastination.”

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of removing ONE item. Other times, we’re on a roll and remove more.

“When I get rid of this stuff, then I will… “

January 11, 2021/2 Comments/in Unexpected Gifts/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

Years ago, I’d visit my father in Wisconsin after my mother died and he’d talk about his dreams of visiting Armenia, Russia, and Germany. He was Armenian, fascinated by Russia, and studied the German language in school.

In his mid-eighties, he was in the early stages of dementia. I didn’t know it then. Even when he forgot my name, I chose to help him be independent and live with dignity.

When he shared his dream, I offered to help him. I even said I’d be willing to come along for an unforgettable father-daughter international adventure.

When I get rid of this stuff, then I will

Each time, he’d look around and take stock of his stuff. There were piles of (unpaid) bills and tax notices, notes, articles, and books near his desk. In the basement, he had an overwhelming array of tools and spare parts. With a sigh he’d say, “When I get rid of this stuff, then I will… ”

Almost two decades have passed since he died after living with Alzheimer’s; and now, I find myself saying the same thing. “When I get rid of this stuff, then I will…”

At age 61, I realize this mindset limits my potential. Aside from severely curtailed activities during this pandemic, I must learn from my father and get rid of more of my stuff.

What will I do once I am finished letting go of my stuff?

Once I realized the limits I was foisting upon my progress, a surprising question came to mind in the wee hours one morning: What will I do once I am finished processing my stuff?

This question scared me. It had a big answer—one, that I did not know. It took weeks to digest the magnitude of this shift in thinking.

Sure, I’ve lived through a lot of change—we all have, lately. Yet, to let go means releasing the anchor of my past.

I know better. I co-wrote a bestselling title on decluttering!

Managing clutter is an ongoing process. Many of us in my generation want to share our treasures with family as our parents did. It would make it so much easier. Yet, family doesn’t want these treasures. In truth, they are only things like thoughts that tether us to the past. While there’s nothing wrong with holding onto what’s familiar, holding on too tight to too many things and thoughts doesn’t allow us to enjoy more of our present.

Knowing this, I have been good about letting go. However, paperwork and books are especially daunting. Progress is measured at snail’s pace—inch-by-inch. Letting go of my parents’ furniture from the 1930s, will yield space for new experiences.

With each generation, we improve. Instead of thinking, when I get rid of this stuff, then I will… I will find the answer that makes sense for me. It may come in pieces but I will know what feels right when I ask, “What will I do once I am finished letting go of my stuff?”

Since a lot of my work is not tied down to a geographic location, this is truly a liberating feeling. And the answer will be the world’s unexpected gift to me.

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