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Trust Yourself to Declutter

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In STUFFology101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter we use the acronym S.T.U.F.F. as a tool to help people deal with their clutter. At the beginning of 2021 I wrote about the ‘S’ in S.T.U.F.F., which is START.

Today I want to touch on the ‘T’ in S.T.U.F.F., which is TRUST. One definition provided by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “one in which confidence is placed.” For the purposes of our acronym and STUFFology 101 that means trusting yourself to define your clutter, since it is unique to you. And then trusting the process of decluttering  you started in January.

For example, I keep my office organized if occasionally chaotic. That is, I know where everything is and where it belongs, but it is always susceptible to clutter creep. Mostly with paperwork from various projects and new books for my personal library. Though I STARTed in January with an oath to keep it organized, I must continue to TRUST my decluttering process each week to stay on track throughout the year.

We often say that removing the various forms of clutter in our lives is a process not an event. For me that is keeping my office organized year round. As different people and things move through my life I find this to be true, especially with physical clutter.

I challenge you to TRUST yourself to continue your own decluttering process and get your mind out of the clutter!

 

Coffee Table Clutter

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A coffee table is a decent sized flat surface that comes in various shapes. Also known as a clutter magnet in our house. That is, it becomes a haven for clutter creep.

Family members, pets, and maybe even gremlins contribute to the cluttering or cleaning of our coffee table, depending on the day of the week.

Here is a partial list of items in our coffee table space just yesterday:

Perhaps not obviously, these items change, or disappear completely by the end of the day. Toys and books return to the shelf or bin. Laundry gets put away where it belongs. And other items are straightened up and so on.

My point is that clearing the clutter is an ongoing process. It also depends on how YOU define your clutter.

Pro tip: Keep clutter creep at bay by cleaning up throughout the day!

Nature's beauty - Cottonwood Lake #3 Sierra Mountains

LETTING GO of PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

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Losing Physical Ability Makes Way for Healing

Late last year, the orthopedic surgeon said, “Let’s talk about your activities.” Usually, this means, the patient is not moving enough. In my case, he was concerned. I was too active, like a hyperactive teenager.

So? What’s the problem, Doc?

This.

Heck, I’m 61, but my mental age hovers around 16; especially, in nature. I love hiking in the Sierras. I fell playing basketball with youngsters and injured my left foot, right wrist, and thumb. I injured my knee and shoulder after falling off a bike when the brakes malfunctioned. I’ve pushed through pain while running. I even considered popping a wheelie or two after seeing my 11-year-old homie do it!

aye, Aye, AYE!

I wanted to train for one more marathon. During an earlier visit, the 69-year-old orthopedic surgeon advised that I should train sooner than later. He said training is harder on our aging bodies than running the actual marathon. I even bought a decent pair of Nike running shoes after running the last marathon in Teva sandals.

The Hard Truth

After all these successive injuries, the doctor painted a shocking picture. I had to let go of training for the Los Angeles Marathon.

Welcome to mental clutter of the mind lamenting our physical (dis)abilities.

I’ll show him. I’m patient. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to run one more marathon… if not this year, the next, or in five years.

My body is no longer marathon material. Heck, after my 13-mile Sierra hike last summer, my body wants me to limit hikes to within 10 miles. My knees are breaking down. If I want to be able to walk and hike, I’d better let go of my running and daylong 13- to 20-mile hikes in the wilderness.

Climbing uneven terrain in Griffith Park Los Angeles

Taped knee for stability before a hike

But first, my chiropractor knew how much I wanted to do this hike to the Hollywood sign in Los Angeles, so he taped my knee. Two days later, I was getting an MRI on that knee.

Letting Go of Physical Activity

Like others my age (and older), I’m dealing with enough aches and pains to need help carrying heavy things, like a case of sparkling water. I use assistive devices to open bottles as my arthritic fingers can’t grip tight enough.

We keep going. As my eighty-something aunt asked, “What are we going to do, die?” 

I am thankful for what I am able to do. To think a friend I visited looked at how I hobbled around her home and struggled to lift things with my sore shoulder, and exclaimed, “You’re worse than I am!” (And she’s on disability!) 

The Stream of Life Flows

Life is about letting go of stuff (physical, mental, emotional) to enjoy what’s left. I have a choice.

If I want to enjoy the fresh flow of water in the river of life and the ever-changing scenery along the banks, I need to let go of the limitations of my physical corpus clutter. To remain a fairly active youthful-spirited 61-year-old, I need to let go of parts of my 16-year-old self.

Rest to Recover and Enjoy Nature

I am resting more. My knees are getting stronger. While I can’t walk as far yet, physical therapy is helping me with greater range of motion and less pain. Recently, with enough NSAIDs and lots of sitting, I enjoyed a half-day outing at the Living Desert Zoo and Gardens in Palm Desert. 

I want to keep going. I will LET GO of the mental clutter that accompanies the pain that comes with running. I will not play another game of basketball. What was I thinking? Before this recent stint, I hadn’t played since high school! 

Besides, the Sierra Mountains are calling me to hike among pristine lakes this summer.

For a slightly different take on the cluttergories of the mind, read Down the Alice-in-Wonderland Rabbit Hole of Cluttergories and while we’re on the topic of nature, here’s a take on a weed-filled mind What’s on Your Mind?

 

What’s in Stor(age) for You This Year?

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Storage bins are a great way to keep our treasured items from being damaged over time but often sit in a closet or garage or basement forgotten and eventually may turn into hidden clutter.

Since our life needs evolve with time, so too does our need to keep certain items in storage. STUFF you have stored away for later use should be reviewed periodically.

Consider a few examples from my own life so far this year.

My oldest daughter has been saving baby clothes, baby toys, and other baby items as her daughter grows out of them. Some she gives away to friends, others she keeps for future use. As you can imagine, such things accumulate rapidly.

The clothes have been stored in boxes, bags, and bins and have become quite disorganized. She recently started to reorganize them and purchased new storage bins for that task. Unfortunately, the bins she purchased are too small for what she had in mind. Pro tip, double check the measurements of storage items you buy online to be sure they suit your needs. She will likely return that purchase in exchange for larger bins.

I have toys packed away neatly in clear plastic bins that I am not quite ready to give up. For me, I do not yet consider them clutter because I rotate some of them to display in the house. Others I am saving to give to the grandchildren when they are older.

We have a sizable collection of board games that are now in the realm of clutter for me. I have kept them in boxes I obtained years ago which are slowly falling apart. I purchased new flip top plastic storage bins to declutter the boxes and better protect the games.

This tends to be a family project and brings back fond memories of where a given game came from and usually inspires us to play several of the games as we process through them. Reviewing your stored STUFF can be fun!

If something is stored away neatly in a storage bin is it clutter? Ask yourself that question today and you might be surprised at what is in stor(age).

What have you bin waiting for?

Brenda Avadian and her father Martin Avadian looking at pictures

“When I get rid of this stuff, then I will… “

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Years ago, I’d visit my father in Wisconsin after my mother died and he’d talk about his dreams of visiting Armenia, Russia, and Germany. He was Armenian, fascinated by Russia, and studied the German language in school.

Brenda Avadian and her father Martin Avadian looking at pictures

In his mid-eighties, he was in the early stages of dementia. I didn’t know it then. Even when he forgot my name, I chose to help him be independent and live with dignity.

When he shared his dream, I offered to help him. I even said I’d be willing to come along for an unforgettable father-daughter international adventure.

When I get rid of this stuff, then I will

Each time, he’d look around and take stock of his stuff. There were piles of (unpaid) bills and tax notices, notes, articles, and books near his desk. In the basement, he had an overwhelming array of tools and spare parts. With a sigh he’d say, “When I get rid of this stuff, then I will… ”

Almost two decades have passed since he died after living with Alzheimer’s; and now, I find myself saying the same thing. “When I get rid of this stuff, then I will…”

At age 61, I realize this mindset limits my potential. Aside from severely curtailed activities during this pandemic, I must learn from my father and get rid of more of my stuff.

What will I do once I am finished letting go of my stuff?

Once I realized the limits I was foisting upon my progress, a surprising question came to mind in the wee hours one morning: What will I do once I am finished processing my stuff?

This question scared me. It had a big answer—one, that I did not know. It took weeks to digest the magnitude of this shift in thinking.

Sure, I’ve lived through a lot of change—we all have, lately. Yet, to let go means releasing the anchor of my past.

I know better. I co-wrote a bestselling title on decluttering!

Managing clutter is an ongoing process. Many of us in my generation want to share our treasures with family as our parents did. It would make it so much easier. Yet, family doesn’t want these treasures. In truth, they are only things like thoughts that tether us to the past. While there’s nothing wrong with holding onto what’s familiar, holding on too tight to too many things and thoughts doesn’t allow us to enjoy more of our present.

Knowing this, I have been good about letting go. However, paperwork and books are especially daunting. Progress is measured at snail’s pace—inch-by-inch. Letting go of my parents’ furniture from the 1930s, will yield space for new experiences.

With each generation, we improve. Instead of thinking, when I get rid of this stuff, then I will… I will find the answer that makes sense for me. It may come in pieces but I will know what feels right when I ask, “What will I do once I am finished letting go of my stuff?”

Since a lot of my work is not tied down to a geographic location, this is truly a liberating feeling. And the answer will be the world’s unexpected gift to me.

What STUFF means

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What does our STUFF mean?

Better yet, what does our STUFF say about us?

Throughout our lives, we accumulate STUFF for diverse reasons.

We aspire to make a statement.

Years ago, while I lived in Wisconsin, an Indiana-based consultant asked me why I don’t wear a Rolex watch. I told him my Seiko works just fine. He advised me that a Rolex would help create an image of success. I reminded him of the irony that he had driven four hours in his Mercedes sporting his Rolex, because he needed my advice.

We acquire a unique item while on travel.

Coke Bottle from Armenia and The Wooden Spoon 5 - webWhile in Armenia, I brought home a bottle of Coke with Armenian lettering.

Take a moment, right now to recall something you acquired within the last week or two.

What was it and why?

I bought a pair of crop pants on sale at Costco. Why? They were a compromise between too-short shorts and pants. I’ll just roll up the legs to just above my knees and they’ll be perfect.

Then we hold onto the STUFF we acquired.

We hold onto a reminder of a loved one.

I still hold onto The Wooden Spoon. If you haven’t yet, read the story in STUFFology 101.

We think we’ll need it, later.

We paid a lot for the item and can’t justify letting go of it.

Yep, these are some of the reasons we accumulate clutter.

Long after the reason for acquiring an item has passed, we’re still holding on.

What’s with that?

Oh, I’m not criticizing. I do it too!

As a STUFFologist, I make it my business to define my own clutter, but it takes time to get rid of STUFF.

Deciding what we hold onto defines who we are. Our STUFF makes statements about how we see ourselves.

WOAH, you say! Not all my stuff!

I agree.

Over time, we try to find containers to store the stuff that we don’t need, right now.

And even though it’s out of sight, we remain tethered to our Stuff.

I still have recordings and videos from over a decade and a half ago when my husband and I taped my father while he lived with dementia. He couldn’t make sense of his image on TV and insisted we call the station manager because there was a guy that looked just like him on TV. I thought about making a video to help people understand what it’s like living with dementia. Enough time has passed. There are far better videos available, today.

I am ready to let go.

Nooo, you say. You can get them converted by a service!

Again, retrieving all the videos and audio recordings and then determining which items to convert, takes time. However, it bears mentioning, we don’t have to reduce ourselves to an all-or-nothing choice. I may choose to preserve at least one of those memories.

Still, I don’t want to live through another Station Fire to be forced into rush decisions about what I keep and what I let go.

An earthquake? A fire? A flood?

I am letting go of things now, so I don’t leave others with the burden of getting rid of my STUFF.

I Start by defining the clutter in an area, Trust in the process, Understand the cyclical nature of clutter, Focus for a time, and Finish getting rid of my S.T.U.F.F. in that area.

These mini successes encourage me to keep going whether it’s getting through emails, a pile of magazines, books, paperwork, and more. I think of Queen’s refrain: I want to break free. It’s not easy, but if we keep at it, we will break free of clutter.

The older I grow, the less STUFF means to me.

Decluttering Tax Records Avadian

Using S.T.U.F.F. to DeClutter

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While dealing with the STUFF of LIFE, we could use a helping hand with clearing the mental clutter swirling in our minds or the physical stuff that stops us from going after what we really want.

When a helping hand is not an option, an inspirational reminder can lift us over the obstacles created by clutter.

To help you declutter, we use the word STUFF as an apronym.

Huh?

The only difference between an apronym and an acronym is that in the former, each letter actually spells a word. I admit, I recently learned this, myself.

S.T.U.F.F.

When you find STUFF getting in the way, it’s because you haven’t Started yet.

START

Once you decide to START, define an area of clutter, and then do something about it.

Your one action will make it easier to keep going. A little progress is better than no progress and means one less thing you need to add to your growing To Do list for tomorrow.

Decluttering Tax Records AvadianAfter five consecutive Sundays of going through old paperwork for two to three hours each time, my husband and I took a break this past weekend. We’ll  return to reducing the clutter of old tax records, next Sunday.

It’s harder to Start than it is to continue. So get started with even one small step.

TRUST

When you hit that wall of resistance, you’ll need to TRUST the process and yourself.

As you build trust in the process, you’ll gain self-confidence.

I made progress in spurts over the years. The older I get, the more I realize that I need to devote the time and effort to getting this done.

I trust that the process will take time and it’s a bit easier sharing the misery while going through old tax files and statements with my husband. During five consecutive weekends, we reduced our records by eight inches. That’s a lot of shredded paper!

UNDERSTAND

Progress helps give us strength to UNDERSTAND the nature of how STUFF accumulates. This is why it’s important to go through the process of decluttering in order to learn the important lessons, which will help us prevent clutter from accumulating.

For lasting results, we can’t expect to get rid of years of stuff in one weekend.

We understand that the small steps we have taken each weekend means we’ll be finished decluttering our old tax records before the end of this month. YAAAAY. This encourages us to define another area of clutter in order to continue the process.

To avoid a future of toxic clutter, we understand now the importance of scheduling regular intervals to manage our records. Drinking wine helps make the process easier.  🙂

FOCUS

In our information-overload world, it’s hard to keep FOCUS.  Watching television becomes a major obstacle for many of us. When in a decisive moment, my hubby decided he was ready to let it go, I cancelled our service.

I didn’t realize all the mindless thoughts filling my brain until we stopped watching TV.

WOW, is Geraldo’s ego really THAT big? His almost rivals Trump’s on Celebrity Apprentice! How much gold do we really need on Gold Rush? Look at all that pristine Alaskan wilderness being torn up just for gold dust! Is Hillary going to run? What’s the deal with Kim Kardashian’s butt?

In the scheme of life, what substance do any of these thoughts add to the contributions I choose to make in our world?

Nothing. They prevent me from focusing on what matters and that is to get my life in order. FOCUSED effort on decluttering one area at a time will free my mind of distraction so that I may help you from a place of focused strength, rather than scattered weakness.

FINISH

Finally, understand that this is an organic process–things come in, they turn into piles, and then they need to go out in order to keep life from becoming toxic.

If you manage your clutter, your progress—cleared space on your desk, space in your file drawers and storage bins, will bring you a feeling of lightness and freedom from not being tied down by too much stuff.

 

What are you waiting for?

Start decluttering your stuff. Trust in the process. Understand how clutter accumulates. Focus on one area at a time and you will Finish.

For more information, click to read Start (again).

 

While Eric and I are happy to give you a helping hand…

You must first define YOUR clutter.

Old books Avadian

What you define as clutter, I may enjoy as a walk back into time—such as reading a book or letters from the late 1800s.

While you think I should delete all my older emails, I may value following-up with an old acquaintance not forgotten. 😉

If you haven’t yet, pick up a copy to read STUFFology 101 first and then send us an email for HELP@stuffology101.com. Today, our virtual communications allow us to help you almost anywhere!

 

 

Stuff Happens!

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A man’s home is his castle, unless his wife says otherwise.

Does stuff matter? Consider the question in the context of relationships like marriage. What is important to you may not be important to your spouse, and vice versa. Rather than argue, it is sometimes easier to let clutter encroach on a space you consider your own. My garage is such a space.

If a man’s home isn’t his castle, at least his garage is.

My-Castle-STUFFology-101

My Castle

Is that true? You decide after viewing my garage story (apologies for the video quality).

We share more stories of how stuff matters in Part II of STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter. Does stuff matter to you? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Are Pets Messier Than Kids?

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Pets are like kids in many ways. We love and take care of them. We buy clothes and toys for them. They make a mess and do not clean up after themselves!

Thanks to their owners (us), our pets tend to accumulate too much stuff. Toys, clothes, beds, and blankets are scattered about the house.

STUFFology101-declutter-01262015

Eventually, our beloved pet passes on. What do you do when you no longer have that pet?

Take a hard look at each item and decide to keep it, toss it, or donate it. Your choice might depend on what kind of pet you have. For example, we have cats and dogs.

For dogs, items to donate might include a leash, harness, bed, toy, or kennel. Even food or treats might be appropriate. When our large outdoor dog Little Bear passed away a few years ago, we gave her food and biscuits to our neighbor, who also had a large dog.

Declutter-pets-01262015

For cats, items to donate might include a litter box, cat litter, scratching post, or cat tower.

Think about how much your local animal rescue or shelter can benefit from you donation. You can make a positive difference!

In (Click on) STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter, we talk about donations:

“When donating things in a meaningful way, two people benefit. By helping others with a donation or a gift, you affect someone else’s life. Sometimes the unexpected gift you receive is learning just how much the thing you don’t use any more means to someone else.”

I am not sure if pets are messier than kids. I am sure their gently used items can make a difference to someone else who has a pet.

File Cabinet Drawer Open Avadian

We need to declutter and archive statements more often.

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File Cabinet Drawer Open Avadian

The truth is my husband and I archive our records once every three years. Thirty-six months of accumulated paperwork is all our file cabinets can handle.

By this time, our files have grown so full that even the hanging folders lose their grip and collapse from the weight of being overstuffed.

It’s also about this time that my husband and I hate filing papers. It becomes a chore to try to stuff one more balanced credit union statement, one more receipt, one more paid utility bill, one more… In years past, we’d start a pile in front of the file cabinet. But we learned painful lessons over the years when having to file all that accumulated paperwork.

Late last year, my husband, David, removed all the pre-2014 paperwork and stacked all those sheets of paper into a neat pile on a shelf.

Time to Archive

It was exactly three years and one month this past weekend, when we pulled out the banker’s boxes and plastic storage bins in order to archive this paperwork among our older records.

Eeeeewwwwww. There was even a dated note on one of the bins: 12/18/2011 This bin is full.

 We need to let go of our older records.

As a STUFFologist, the thought of buying a new bin did not occur to me. Instead, using Nature’s process as noted in “Input Throughput Output,” Chapter 21 in Part Four of (click on) STUFFology 101, we needed to let go of some stuff.

It took the better part of a quarter hour to decide what we would let go and then the better part of three hours to get the job done.

We keep records of the last seven years. Anything prior to that, we reviewed and reduced to make room for the newer records.

It’s a slow process at best because it’s not simply a matter of tossing records from 2006 and earlier. You may recall I have a need to look through my paperwork one more time before letting go. So, the process will take a bit longer.

For one thing, I purchased a few stocks over a decade ago that I still own. I need to look through my paperwork to see if I still have those records. It would be much harder to get them from the brokerage as I’ve changed brokers over the years, too. I’ll need this information to calculate the long-term capital gain when I’m ready to sell.

This is the process of dealing with (click on) S.T.U.F.F.—we need to Start, Trust the process, Understand that it will take time, and Focus, in order to Finish.

David and I decided that we need to archive and de-clutter statements more often.

In one and a half weeks, we’ve set aside time to return to this process of removing our older records. This time, it should be easier since we’re not waiting three years to review and be reacquainted with our filing system. Over time, I have faith that the process will move faster as we feel strengthened by saving only what we need.

How about you? What area do you define as clutter and how can you get started with decluttering your STUFF?