Declutter Tug-of-War with Past, Present, and Future
Recently, I reviewed notes I had keyed in my journal, two years ago. At the time, I was packing to leave the rural mountain I called home for 15 years—the home, my then-husband and I said we’d live in until the paramedics carried us out on stretchers.
Time has a way of changing things and we’re each living our own lives. I accumulated many books and a lot of paperwork over my nearly 40-year career. I taught at three universities and one college plus served as a consultant for corporations and organizations. Additionally, I had files of notes and editions of the nine books I had written plus notes of the many speeches I’d given since 1980.
As I write this, I recall a dear friend and prolific author’s words during one of our telephone calls, “I’m embarrassed to admit this, Brenda, but I have notes that almost reach the ceiling for books I have yet to write. I feel overwhelmed.”
And here I am lamenting that I have a half file drawer full!
Clutter is relative. Her tall pile of notes held potential for her future. She had written over 40 books at the time. For me, too many notes drain me of energy. I stop. I feel too sluggish to move.
And so, our lives march on with an ongoing tug-of-war with clutter.
Clutter Tug-of-War – Past. Present. Future.
We must decide how much of the past we let tug at us versus how much energy we devote to our future while we potentially tear apart our present.
That year, 2019, I had to make some difficult decisions. The future would not unfold in the way I envisioned. I had to let go of what I had defined as clutter. It was time to create a present with far fewer possessions.
While I’ve always welcomed having less, it’s an uncomfortable feeling to let go of what I had for so long. It’s almost as if I’m saying, I have no future. While not true, it takes some getting used to when one’s present circumstances necessitates a revision to one’s future.
I also know from working with downsizing elders, that going through the process sooner will make it less stressful than if I had to do it in my later years.
Let Go.
As difficult as it may be to let go now, the process has made me far more conscientious as a consumer. Fortunately, I’m not one for shopping for the sake of seeing what’s out there. If I need something, I’ll buy it. Usually, it’s to replace something that no longer works for me. This means I accumulate very little.
With the holidays coming up, friends hint at the gifts they’d like to buy for me. I remind them to gift me with experiences we can enjoy together. This way, instead of having one more thing to deal with, I will treasure a memorable experience.
I had long welcomed a reduction in possessions. The more stuff we have the more our energy goes to maintaining our physical possessions instead spending time with one another. Based on square feet alone, I’ve given up 80% of living space.
I feel far less stress in more intimate surroundings that are easier to manage. Instead of fixing, cleaning, storing, and maintaining possessions I am enjoying meaningful experiences with people.
Let Go to Let In
Since the age of 10 when I grew aware of such things, I’ve learned how much we allow our possessions—whether physical or mental to control our lives.
When we decide and then take steps to let go, we open ourselves to wondrous experiences, ones we cannot even imagine.
Brenda Avadian 2021
While on a trip to Mexico, my husband and I lived high on the hog, we also lived along the middle of the hog, and under the hog. Okay, I’m stretching the cliché a little.
I was curious about his childhood. He recalls trying to arrange Legos in ways that reflect principles of feng shui. He remembers most horizontal surfaces filled with stuff. In STUFFology 101, there’s a reference to tilting horizontal surfaces to prevent the accumulation of POOP (Piles of Overwhelming Paperwork).
By letting go of things we often think are necessary, he has created a life of freedom, flexibility, and fun. For example, he and his girlfriend/writer,