What STUFF means

June 2, 2015/7 Comments/in S.T.U.F.F./by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

What does our STUFF mean?

Better yet, what does our STUFF say about us?

Throughout our lives, we accumulate STUFF for diverse reasons.

We aspire to make a statement.

Years ago, while I lived in Wisconsin, an Indiana-based consultant asked me why I don’t wear a Rolex watch. I told him my Seiko works just fine. He advised me that a Rolex would help create an image of success. I reminded him of the irony that he had driven four hours in his Mercedes sporting his Rolex, because he needed my advice.

We acquire a unique item while on travel.

While in Armenia, I brought home a bottle of Coke with Armenian lettering.

Take a moment, right now to recall something you acquired within the last week or two.

What was it and why?

I bought a pair of crop pants on sale at Costco. Why? They were a compromise between too-short shorts and pants. I’ll just roll up the legs to just above my knees and they’ll be perfect.

Then we hold onto the STUFF we acquired.

We hold onto a reminder of a loved one.

I still hold onto The Wooden Spoon. If you haven’t yet, read the story in STUFFology 101.

We think we’ll need it, later.

We paid a lot for the item and can’t justify letting go of it.

Yep, these are some of the reasons we accumulate clutter.

Long after the reason for acquiring an item has passed, we’re still holding on.

What’s with that?

Oh, I’m not criticizing. I do it too!

As a STUFFologist, I make it my business to define my own clutter, but it takes time to get rid of STUFF.

Deciding what we hold onto defines who we are. Our STUFF makes statements about how we see ourselves.

WOAH, you say! Not all my stuff!

I agree.

Over time, we try to find containers to store the stuff that we don’t need, right now.

And even though it’s out of sight, we remain tethered to our Stuff.

I still have recordings and videos from over a decade and a half ago when my husband and I taped my father while he lived with dementia. He couldn’t make sense of his image on TV and insisted we call the station manager because there was a guy that looked just like him on TV. I thought about making a video to help people understand what it’s like living with dementia. Enough time has passed. There are far better videos available, today.

I am ready to let go.

Nooo, you say. You can get them converted by a service!

Again, retrieving all the videos and audio recordings and then determining which items to convert, takes time. However, it bears mentioning, we don’t have to reduce ourselves to an all-or-nothing choice. I may choose to preserve at least one of those memories.

Still, I don’t want to live through another Station Fire to be forced into rush decisions about what I keep and what I let go.

An earthquake? A fire? A flood?

I am letting go of things now, so I don’t leave others with the burden of getting rid of my STUFF.

I Start by defining the clutter in an area, Trust in the process, Understand the cyclical nature of clutter, Focus for a time, and Finish getting rid of my S.T.U.F.F. in that area.

These mini successes encourage me to keep going whether it’s getting through emails, a pile of magazines, books, paperwork, and more. I think of Queen’s refrain: I want to break free. It’s not easy, but if we keep at it, we will break free of clutter.

The older I grow, the less STUFF means to me.

Cut Through the Clutter

May 27, 2015/1 Comment/in Unexpected Gifts/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

What unexpected gifts will unveil themselves to you when you cut through the clutter?

In STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter, we discuss the five categories of clutter, which we call cluttergories. They are physical, mental, digital, temporal and sensual. Clutter has an ebb and flow to it, just like life. How we define our clutter may change.

Recently my Dad has been making improvements to his home, discovering areas of clutter in the process. One hall closet in particular had several shoe boxes full of old pictures (remember the print kind?) that were stored at random. My daughter Maggie volunteered to sort them out and organize them for my Dad so the whole family could enjoy them.

We took all the boxes home for easier sorting, and to help cut through the clutter at my Dad’s house! My first unexpected gift came shortly thereafter. As Maggie went through each box of pictures she would stop to ask who or what was in a given photo. It is amazing what memories (my unexpected gift) came into focus as I answered her questions. Of course there were questions that neither I nor my wife could answer about certain photos. That’s not a problem because a sticky note to mark that photo will do the trick short term. Maybe my Dad can provide the answers.

His pictures are now neatly organized in new photo boxes. As he looks through them in the future he will enjoy a pleasant stroll down memory lane, an unexpected gift worth giving.

Maggie was inspired to review and sort the family photos at our house as a result of this project. Fortunately my wife keeps them in pretty good order already. This is when I received my second unexpected gift. The photos triggered pleasant memories for sure, but also motivated me to take action.

Looking at my skinnier self from years ago, coupled with some good-natured teasing from my daughter, motivated me to lose weight. Getting back in shape is something I have been working at half-heartedly for most of this year, with limited success. Pictures tell a tale that is difficult to ignore.

The physical clutter of printed pictures has motivated me to get in better physical shape. What cluttergories are impacting your life? Cut through that clutter to unveil an unexpected gift that is unique to you.

Tug of war with Magic Question 1

May 21, 2015/2 Comments/in 2 Magic Questions/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

“I’m cheap,” said my friend as she pulled the empty bottle of shampoo out of the trash. “I can get another two shampoos out of this.”

“No you’re not,” I replied. “You’re ecologically minded. You’re green!” I added.

She smiled, unbelievingly.

Raised by Depression-era parents, she also saved everything. You never know when you’ll need it.

From time to time, I also have a tug-of-war when letting go.

Do I save something to use in another way or do I let it go to keep clutter at bay?

For years, I’ve saved a little jar of night cream. I let go of a smaller travel-sized version with no regrets, but I’ve held onto this larger-sized one. What if I might like to use it for something else? Unlike my friend, I do try to be ecologically minded.

The tug-of-war begins when I consider The Station Fire of 2009.

Would this be one of the items I’d take with me when we evacuate?

NO.

In a similar vein, Magic Question 1 is: Will I take time to acquire this item again if I lost it in a disaster?

NO.

As I write this, I’m struggling to reach the rest of the lotion from the bottom of a large-sized pump bottle. I could let the remaining lotion pour into this little jar! Oh, but I need to clean it, first.

This begs the question: When is enough ENOUGH?

Do the resources spent—water, soap, and my time—outweigh any benefit to saving it?

YES.

My friend gave me an idea, which I shared with my husband. Today, we add we add a little water to a near-empty bottle of shampoo and manage a few extra uses. That’s not being cheap, that’s being GREEN!

I tossed the jar of night cream.

Instead, I’ll simply tilt the bottle with a piece of foil covering the top until I use the last of the lotion.

It may seem incidental to focus on one little jar of cream, but as you know if you finished reading STUFFology 101, mass attracts mass. Even one sheet of paper can soon grow into an overwhelming pile.

So, I ask you: What’s the “little jar” you need to let go in your life?

Leave a reply below or click on any of these social media buttons and share your answer.

STUFFology 101 Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter book by Brenda Avadian MA Eric Riddle

Review Mirror

May 19, 2015/1 Comment/in News 'n Views/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

Do you have a book inside you? Most people would say yes.

Writing a book has been a great experience for me. Putting yourself out there for everyone to see is a worthwhile endeavor. But receiving feedback from people can be a challenge. Few of us enjoy criticism, even if it for our own good.

During the editing process, feedback can be brutal. But it gives the author time to incorporate the recommendations of the editor. In the end the book is better from this process.
Book reviews are different because the process is over, the book is complete. But the feedback is still important. For me a review is like looking in the rearview mirror when driving a car. It is an opportunity to see where I have been.

We all have our own views and perceptions of clutter and life. Reading what someone has to say about STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter is both exciting and scary. I enjoy learning how people benefited from our work, which is exciting. After all, we wrote the book to help people get their minds out of the clutter! My ego wants people to love the book, but it is impossible to please everyone, which is a little scary for a first time author like me.

Negative feedback is also important because it challenges me to see things through the reader’s eyes. That person’s perception of what we wrote in the book may not be what we intended to say or even actually said. Perception is reality to each of us. That too reminds me of a rearview mirror because it is behind me, I can’t change what the reviewer wrote.

Earlier I asked if you have a book in you. If you do, then write it. It is a great experience.

I have another question for you. Do you have a review in you? Reviews are important to authors, both for the feedback to improve and to help sell books. If you have read STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter, then please write a review.

If you haven’t read the book, then please BUY it and write a review. It is available from many retailers.

Here are a few of them:

As you can see, the book is available in multiple formats to suit your preferred reading method.

Do you have a review in you? I hope you say yes. Thank you.

Down the Alice-in-Wonderland Rabbit Hole of Cluttergories

May 13, 2015/2 Comments/in Cluttergories/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

When one part of our lives grows cluttered, so do other parts of our lives. Hence, the term we’ve coined to describe various areas of clutter – cluttergories.

When we think of clutter, it often deals with physical clutter—the stuff that makes us fear judgment by others.

What kind of person do we become when we hold onto these feelings?

Do our fears affect our relationships with others?

Beyond the obvious—don’t invite anybody over to see our clutter—what signals are we sending by our behavior?

Are we at risk of falling down the Alice-in-Wonderland rabbit hole of cluttergories?

Let’s turn the tables for a moment.

We’ve all experienced relationships when we get to know someone initially and feel comfortable. Somewhere along the line, we start feeling the person is holding back. It’s not the shy or introverted behavior; rather, the kind of withholding that creates an inexplicable void in a relationship.

Some people tend to dismiss such observations as thinking too much. The reality is, we humans are far more observant and can sense anomalies in our relationships—things that don’t add up—well before we learn the truth.

Now, let’s look at ourselves.

I don’t intend to address the psychology of human behavior. Instead, I’m trying to raise awareness that such voids in our relationships may serve as clues to the struggles we have with the different cluttergories in our lives.

Whether it starts with physical clutter—what we observe easily—and then radiates outward to the burden of mental clutter. Or it starts in our mind with secrets we hold onto so tightly, we spiral into a life filled with sensual clutter; such as, too much entertainment, alcohol, or food.

Cluttergories play a greater role in our lives than many of us are willing to admit. Unless we do something about them, we’ll continue bearing the burden for a lifetime.

Isn’t it time, we crawl out of the rabbit hole and let the light create awareness?

Who has time to read?

May 7, 2015/1 Comment/in Digital Stuff/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

Who has time to read? You do, despite the temporal clutter in your life. I like to read for pleasure, for personal development, and so forth. With all the demands on our time, it is a good idea to have a plan for your reading.

When preparing STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter, I read and subscribed to many newsletters and articles about clutter, some of which we reference in the Additional Resources section of the book. I continue to read and watch videos from other experts; you never know what will trigger a fresh idea.

One such expert is Maria Gracia from Get Organized Now! She has wonderful stuff on her website to help you control your clutter. In one of the videos on her YouTube channel she explains how to organize your reading. As someone who loves to read and is still building my personal library, I really appreciated her perspective.

Remember too that you can always read from your smartphone or tablet through one of the popular reading apps like Kindle or Nook.

You do have time to read when you follow Maria’s advice.

Pick up that book or magazine and enjoy a good read today!

Nature abhors a vacuum and other clutter postulates

May 5, 2015/2 Comments/in Unexpected Gifts/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

About a decade ago, I came upon “Nature abhors a vacuum” in a book on feng shui. It left a lasting impression upon me. If we resist this force of nature, we may gain control over the cycle of clutter in order to enjoy the unexpected gifts in life.

At this time, I needed to get rid of a number of classic-tailored suits. I no longer wore them because after years of living in a dry climate — the High Desert of Southern California — the finely woven wool fibers had shrunk significantly; yet, I couldn’t let them go.

Isn’t it funny how when we don’t even need something, we insist on holding on?

That changed when a fellow caregiver and friend needed donations for the Children’s Hospital fundraiser. Knowing these clothes were to be purchased by women who would recognize the finer quality details, I donated a half-dozen suits and other clothes.

The void in my closet provided relief. I no longer had the toxic reminders of what was not in my future — a body to fit in those clothes.

And while the force of nature pressured me to fill that void, I resisted. I bought two new outfits. I needed something to wear at speaking engagements!

Today, I consciously resist the urge to replace something I give away or discard. I try to live without it a while to see if I really need to replace it.

This past weekend, one of our living room tabletop lamps stopped working. My husband took it apart to try to fix it. We agreed it wasn’t worth his time and tossed it. We considered buying a new one. Then, to fill the void with light, we experimented by moving two floor lamps. Amazingly, the new arrangement resulted in a much better effect with one less lamp!

What is it that compels us to give into nature’s force and fill a newly created void? And why?

It turns out that Aristotle made this statement. Ahh, now that explains why we accumulate clutter! It’s a physics postulate! And who can resist nature’s law?

We can, if we try hard enough.

After all, with enough power, we defy the laws of gravity and enjoy air travel around the world.

We CAN defy the laws of physics.

When we resist the urge to fill a void whether it’s physical, mental, or even temporal, we free ourselves to receive the unexpected gifts in life.

Unexpected gifts

You may recall reading the part in STUFFology 101 about my husband’s and my commitment to keep our kitchen table clear after we grew tired of having to clear a space to eat. Instead, we put our food on trays and ate while watching TV.

This is a photo taken on May 4, 2015 of our clutter-free table. And we took advantage of two unexpected gifts. First, we focus on what we’re eating, which means we eat less. Instead of permitting TV to be a distraction, we take our time to enjoy meals we prepare together from scratch. Second, we’re talking more, just as we did when we became a couple almost 38 years ago.

You may also recall the article that we cancelled our television subscription earlier this year, in order to have more time.

This means less temporal clutter. We have more time to catch up with the things that piled up while our attention was diverted to the TV. And there’s no more mindless blur of daily entertainment that overloaded us with mental clutter.

As we consciously strive to defy Aristotle’s (clutter) postulate, we’ll have more time and energy to enjoy life’s unexpected gifts. One such gift presented itself a couple months ago after I took steps to reduce the hours and days I worked each week.

For almost twenty years, I worked 14-16 hours a day for 6-7 days a week. Last year, I began to take stock of my time and energy and reduced my schedule to 12-14-hour days. After facing some difficult decisions, I let go of several volunteer activities and reduced my work schedule even more.

This year, I’m working 10-12 hour days 6 days a week. This reduction left me with enough time and energy to accept an unexpected gift–an invitation to write for U.S. News & World Report.

This opportunity helps me to reach a wider audience with my message for caregivers. I would not have been able to accept this gift had I not cleared the temporal clutter in my life. Plus, I’m getting out more often to hike in nature.

What unexpected gifts will you invite into your life after resisting the urge to fill a void with stuff?

Brownies for breakfast?

April 29, 2015/in 2 Magic Questions/by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

If you are trying to eat healthier, it is a good idea to remove junk food from your living space. Likewise if you are trying to live clutter free, you remove items from areas in the home that tend to be a dumping ground for your stuff (your clutter zones).

Still, clutter tends to accumulate if we are not focused on keeping it under control. If this happens to you, take a hard look at your stuff and ask yourself the Two Magic Questions.

MAGIC QUESTION #1: If I lost this item in a disaster, would I take the time to replace it?

MAGIC QUESTION #2: What would the area you’re focusing on look, feel, smell, or sound like if you cleared out the clutter?

Your answers should help you get rid of some of that stuff. Remember that only you can define your own clutter.

It (clutter/stuff) can be insidious, not unlike that junk food around the house when we try to eat healthier. When on a diet you would not eat brownies for breakfast.

Continuing the diet analogy, too much stuff can feel like excessive weight on our bodies and minds (physical and mental clutter). Since I tend to be a packrat, clutter removal is an ongoing process for me. The Two Magic Questions are a handy tool to keep my clutter under control.

If you are feeling the weight of too much clutter, ask yourself the Two Magic Questions today.

Letting go and Letting IN the World with Professor Dumpster

April 23, 2015/1 Comment/in News 'n Views/by Brenda Avadian STUFFologist

Letting go and Letting IN the World–an interview with Professor Dumpster.

Jeff Wilson piqued my interest when I came upon an article in The Atlantic, last year.

Who moves from a 3,000-square foot home to a 500-square foot apartment, and then down to a 36-square foot dumpster?

What’s surprising? He’s an environmental science professor at Huston-Tillotson University (HTU) AND a dean!

I had to meet him when I flew into Austin for a board meeting earlier this month.

What’s his story?

He’s the test variable in his own research, exploring the boundaries of conventional living options.

Can one live in a space of 36-square feet?
The first half of the year, he endured sparse amenities, sponge baths at a sink in one of the university’s bathrooms, and sub-freezing nights. The second half of the year, he added some creature comforts with air conditioning and a futon bed.

As a professor, he inspires by example. His students remain curious about sustainability in their own lives. He welcomes teachers to spend a night through his Dumpster Project “Home” School residency program. (Scroll to “Education Programs” in the PDF that opens.) His DumpterProject.org even offers educational opportunities for 5th and 7th grade science—helping young people understand sustainability of water, food, and energy.

What unfolded was quite unexpected.

We met for breakfast on a rainy morning at a small neighborhood restaurant two miles east of the Capitol.

Donning a professorial corduroy sport coat over a plaid shirt with bowtie, and heavy black-framed glasses topped with a Stetson will catch anyone’s attention! That adventurous mix caught mine.

He is letting go.

He picked up the tab for breakfast. I objected since I had invited him to meet with me. He explained that’s what the money is for—to let it go. Although, he’s not giving away money, he is testing many of the conventions of day-to-day living we often take for granted.

He just sold his car the evening before we met, choosing to get around town on an electric bicycle or on foot.

After breakfast, we walked to the University to see the Dumpster. I looked inside and took a few pictures. (It had just been painted.) We went to his office to continue our discussion.

What is he trying to prove?

He’s asked this question, frequently. Anytime, anyone endeavors to do something that defies convention, amateur psychologists gather to decode the pioneer’s psyche by delving into the past.

Was it something from his childhood?

I was curious about his childhood. He recalls trying to arrange Legos in ways that reflect principles of feng shui. He remembers most horizontal surfaces filled with stuff. In STUFFology 101, there’s a reference to tilting horizontal surfaces to prevent the accumulation of POOP (Piles of Overwhelming Paperwork).

A past relationship?

He was married once, but his ex-wife’s and his relationship went their separate ways, amicably.

Past profession?

After a stint with Ernst & Young, he quit, because in the real world, it seems no matter how stellar one’s results, there’s always a leader wants things done a certain way.

Sometimes, people do things for reasons we’re unable to understand.

He’s not trying to change our behavior.

“I don’t want anyone to do anything.” He doesn’t expect the world’s population to live in dumpsters. Although, a dumpster would be desirable shelter for billions who live in poverty.

He’s not even trying to prove a point.

“I’m just doing my own thing.” He’s stretching the boundaries of how we choose to live while exploring sustainable options. He’s conducting “radical personal experiments that have the potential to make a ripple in society.” He’s “inspired by people who sell their home, buy an RV, and travel. It’s a freeing feeling.”

Why a Dumpster?

“The dumpster is a metaphor for the dichotomy between our sacred space (where we live) and the waste we throw away. The crap we don’t want disappears when we toss it in a dumpster.” Bringing together such disparate elements “serves as a symbol and a surprise.”

What’s next?

His goal is to explore “how to build a beautiful home for the price of a car payment in the middle of a city.”

His research is inspiring. His experiments are lessons in letting go while letting in the world of adventure through sustainable living. He inspires a growing community of us with greater awareness of the cumulative global impact of our feature-rich lifestyles.

By letting go of things we often think are necessary, he has created a life of freedom, flexibility, and fun. For example, he and his girlfriend/writer, Clara Bensen, completed several trips to different countries around the world without any baggage. Read more on his Wikipedia page.

I hope he doesn’t let go of the gift of STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind out of the Clutter, I was happy to sign for him.

Have Fun With S.T.U.F.F.

April 21, 2015/1 Comment/in S.T.U.F.F./by Eric Riddle STUFFologist

Knowing and doing are NOT the same thing. We know we should take time to relax, but often don’t. We know we should spend more time with family and friends, but let work and other obligations get in the way. Clutter is not always black and white.

Step back, take a deep breath, and have fun with S.T.U.F.F.

Our own cluttergories overlap one another, but we can work on more than one at a time. This is where the S.T.U.F.F. acronym comes in handy. START by defining what clutter is for you. For me it has been mental and temporal clutter. Like many of you, I have too much stuff going on! The family and I needed a break, so we went to the California Poppy Festival over the weekend.

I learned some things about clutter at this event, especially in the petting zoo area of the children’s section. The camels reminded me to get over the hump of my mental clutter. I had to TRUST in the process and myself to de-clutter.

There was a rainforest animal section too, that contained all kinds of exotic critters. The giant spider made me think about how clutter builds up slowly, just like a web. UNDERSTAND that clutter builds up over time and its removal is a process not an event.

Enjoy the moment and be present. Kids seem to do this naturally. Follow their example and FOCUS on where you are and what you are doing.

And last, but not least, FINISH the area of clutter you are working on. My day of fun with the family reduced the mental and temporal clutter holding me back.

S.T.U.F.F. is a tool you can use to process whatever cluttergories are impacting your life. Try it today!

Archive for year: 2015