Dr. Nancy Irwin

Now this is a STUFFology 101 REVIEW!

I have to admit, of the hundreds of reviews my nine books have received, none compares to THIS ONE.

Dr. Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD, C.Ht., Therapist/Hypnotherapist/Speaker/Author recently married. After her honeymoon, she sent me this email:

Dr. Nancy IrwinFrom: Nancy Irwin
Sent: Thursday, August 14, 2014 3:41 PM
To: Brenda Avadian
Subject: Loved it!

Hey Brenda:

I want you to know that I read your book on my honeymoon, for heaven’s sake! My husband did too. We really enjoyed it. Wanted something light, yet educational and inspirational, and your book was it!

Really well written, and we both learned a great deal. Esp helpful re: technology clutter. Boy, you hit it there!

Dr. Nancy Irwin-hypnotherapy-los-angelesBest,
Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD, C.Ht.
Therapist/Clinical Hypnotist/Speaker/Author
DrNancyIrwin.com

 

See her review, now featured on our STUFFology 101 book page.

Eric Riddle Letting Go speech

Letting Go is Hard to Do

Stuffologist Eric Riddle Letting Go speech“Letting GO is hard to do,” says STUFFologist, Eric Riddle as he relates three distinctly different experiences he’s had with each of his three daughters.

View Daddy’s tug-of-war of emotions as he learns to let go. Video taken at Toastmasters Division Contest April 2014.

“What does that mean, at the end of the day, is it harder to let go of things or … people?”

Watch Eric Riddle’s presentation about Letting Go, by either clicking in box below or clicking on the text link at the end of this post.

Eric Riddle on Letting Go – STUFFology 101 Video

Clutter Busting by Brooks Palmer

STUFFologist Reviews – Clutter Busting

Clutter Busting by Brooks PalmerClutter Busting: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back by Brooks Palmer (2009) remains one of those down-to-earth titles written by one who’s served in the trenches of physical and emotional clutter. In fact, it remains one of the more psychologically insightful works on clutter.

Palmer writes (paraphrased):

  • 75% of what’s in our homes is clutter.
  • we should keep only those items, which make us happy and comfortable.
  • to de-clutter we need to remove clutter from where we currently stored it to the middle of the room where we can look at it with a fresh perspective.

A person with an impressive library of books may appear to have a problem with clutter. Yet, I believe that each person decides what is clutter. Although, I prefer less, I disagree with the “75% is clutter” figure that’s been repeated in the media over the years. Unlike hoarders – the result of a disorder causing significant discomfort when attempting to let go of items including trash – clutter is more personal.

As for getting rid of items that drag us down or make us feel uncomfortable; what lessons will we miss by discarding these items based on an emotion we feel during one fleeting moment in time? If, on the other hand, we take time to reflect, we will learn to avoid getting into similar situations in the future.

Palmer has a gift for getting at clients’ psychological struggles with clutter. He hones right in and helps his clients (mostly women) decide to take a new road without all those extra clothes that don’t fit, collections of books, self-development tapes, pictures, and more.

In fact, the way he writes about his successes with clients is both hopeful and unnerving. As my co-author, Eric Riddle and I wrote in STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter, we hold onto some things without knowing why. What if Palmer persuaded us in that moment to let go and it turns out to be a mistake? As I read examples of Palmer’s interventions, I kept wondering: What are his credentials? Does he have a degree in clinical psychology?

People can be successful without a degree; we’ve seen countless examples in business. Yet, it is my belief that higher learning enables people to better see the gray areas within bi-polar decision-making, often the standard in our industry. I’m tired of being forced to “use it or get rid of it.” In fact, Palmer writes of something similar when he admits that he stopped taking photos after realizing that doing so removed him from experiencing the moment. While I agree, we need to balance preservation of a special moment with experience. After all, I’ve spent years working with families who live with dementia and Alzheimer’s. That photo or unused object we should have tossed helps loved ones recall a precious life moment their brains can no longer conceptualize.

I prefer a more custom approach in dealing with clients. We hold on for our own reasons and one person’s clutter is another’s sanctuary. This is why I help clients define their own areas of clutter then work with them for long-term results.

Yet, among the books I’ve read in the de-clutter / organizing space, I feel drawn to Palmer’s message. He offers plenty of nuggets to digest, especially when I recall needing to evacuate because a massive fire threatened our home. I stood in a room frozen with indecision.

Some of Palmer’s exercises throughout Clutter Busting and the questions he suggests we ask ourselves will better help us to understand our relationship with clutter.

If I had to choose a book (besides STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter), I’d choose Brooks Palmer’s Clutter Busting: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back.

 

 

It’s a Girl!

STUFFology-101-held-by-giraffe-in-high-chair-20140412_launchOur baby is born! The official launch of STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter book took place on Saturday, April 12th in Palmdale, CA. Family and friends were there to support my book spouse and co-author, Brenda Avadian and me. It resulted in a wonderful day for me especially, a first time author.

To be honest, it all felt like a dream. The process of writing the book and getting it published was a long one, and of course there were bumps along the way. So when the day finally arrived and I held the little book baby for the first time, I still was not completely convinced that it was for real.

Many of us have a dream of writing a book, but are not necessarily prepared for what it takes to get there.

Life goes on while you write. You work at a regular job to pay the mortgage and keep the car running. You have to cook dinner, cut the grass, and do other household chores. You have to take the kids to school and soccer practice. You have to visit your parents out of town on the weekend and go to the weddings of family and friends. All these things take time. You don’t magically get more time just because you decided to write a book.

In reality, these were my experiences. I thought I understood how time works, but I really didn’t. And that’s okay. We often don’t truly understand something until going through it ourselves. Keep at it and persist until you are done. Do not quit.

Your best laid plans for completing the book will be interrupted. You might have a family emergency or a hose will burst and your laundry room will flood. Something will happen that will take you away from the book. React, adjust, and continue writing IF you want your book to see the light of day.

You will need to work with other people as you write. Depending on the publishing path you choose—you will work directly or indirectly with a cover designer, editor, interior designer, printer, and more. Be courteous and professional with each of them. Here too, something will happen to slow you down. Be patient. Persist. Finish.

I am lucky; I have a co-author to push me along when needed. I have a supportive wife who understood that I needed time to write, which would limit my time with her and our daughters. Make sure you have a support network in place when you embark on your book project.

I learned many things through this writing project and am grateful for the experience. I am the proud dad of STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter. Our book baby is ready to be held in your arms.

 

I've "Bin" there before

I’ve “Bin” there before

I've "Bin" there beforeClutter builds up over time. It creeps along, unnoticed at first. Then one day we almost trip and fall over that stack of stuff next to the couch.

We try to avoid the clutter creep. We try to outsmart it. We store things in bags, boxes, and storage bins. Out of sight, out of mind.

Then the different containers of clutter pile up too because we haven’t really done anything except move our stuff around. What is a packrat to do?

I am guilty of doing this. I tend to set things down in front of a bookcase near the stairs. These are items that I need to review, donate, discard, and so forth. When the bins stack up I can’t find the book I need on the shelf behind my stacks of bins. Then I know it is really time to de-clutter!

04062014_Front RoomClutter removal is a process. I go through each bag, box, and bin, sorting everything. Three choices: keep, donate, or trash. Sometimes it takes a while to go through all that stuff. That’s okay, just start. One bin at a time, bit by bit.

Once the process is completed, the bins are gone. I can see the bottom shelf of the bookcase. There is the book I was looking for!

Old habits die hard. I still set things down in front of the bookcase from time to time. But I no longer let boxes and bins pile up. I’ve bin there before, but I won’t be again.

 

04062014_Play Pool 1

I can play pool, now

04062014_Play Pool 1I can play pool now that we moved that stuff,
Into Beth’s room temporarily, looking pretty rough.
Not actually a solution, but it works for now,
Need to figure out a better way somehow.

But now that room is a mess,
Causing me grief, I must confess.
Procrastination only increases the clutter everywhere.
I prefer a clean house, I really do care.

Sort it I must, that clutter must go,
How long will it take? There is no way to know.
Until we start going through each box with care,
It will sit unused in her room, so unfair.

There is stuff I don’t need that others can use,
Just like that new pair of baby shoes.
Donate with purpose, and do so with haste,
These things should not be sitting here going to waste.

Slowly but surely the bedroom is cleared,
Sorting through stuff is easier than I feared.
We can use this room for guests, and play pool too,
I would have de-cluttered sooner if I only knew.

Finish what you start to keep clutter at bay,
Just do a little bit when you can every day.
You’ll be glad you did, feeling light and free,
Staying clutter free is the way to be.

To see the pool table before it was cleaned click on: Why can’t I play pool?

2 Magic Questions

2 Magic Questions

What are they?

Well, we can’t spill the beans on everything now can we? Otherwise you won’t read the book!

Rest assured we’ll let you know soon enough.

The U.S. Savings Bonds Windfall

By Brenda Avadian, MA

 

The U.S. Savings Bonds WindfallDuring the 1950s, while earning $100-plus a week, my father withdrew 10%  of his paycheck to buy U.S. Savings Bonds.

In 1996, after my father was diagnosed with dementia, my husband, David, and I returned to my childhood home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin where my father had lived for forty-five years.

We tried to help my father organize his paperwork, but everything was a mess and David and I had to go through it all. (I inherited this quality.)

We meticulously went through each file and pile. It was nearly impossible to determine what was important and what was not. We had to leaf through every piece of paper one page at a time, being careful not to overlook something—like a $1,000 U.S. Savings Bond tucked between two sheets of scrap paper or hiding in a one-and-a-half foot pile of newspapers. We found important documents, cash, and bonds. It was an overwhelming task that soon left us exhausted.

After lunch one day, I returned to the sunroom. I watched my father hunched over paperwork at his desk. He was organizing his bills. I sat in a chair by a bookshelf in the living room, only a few feet away from where he was working.

Soon, I grew bored and turned my attention to the books in one of the built-in oak bookshelves along the wall. Some were my father’s German-language books from his bachelor years; others were reference books he used for his work as a machinist. Two hardcover books covered with brown paper bags grabbed my attention. I tried to decipher the rubber-stamped letters on their spines. Reaching out, I pulled one off the bookshelf. A little package fell on the floor. After looking quickly at the book, an engineering manual of interest to my father, brother, or husband, I placed it back and reached down for the package.

Three dry rubber bands bound an eight-and-a-half by three-and-a-half-inch packet. I scraped off the rubber bands and unfolded a letter-sized sheet protecting a stack of cards. When I turned them over to look at the front side, “1,000” caught my eye on the upper left and right sides. I looked at the card more carefully and read “Series E.” It dawned on me—it was a thousand dollar U.S. Savings Bond!

What happened?

Click to view this 3-minute excerpt of Brenda Avadian’s speech at a caregiver conference. You won’t forget THIS story.

Why Can't I Play Pool - Eric Riddle

Why can’t I play pool?

By Eric Riddle

Why Can't I Play Pool - Eric Riddle I always wanted a pool table, probably because I had one growing up. Nothing fancy, just the cool factor.

Thirty years later, my family has a game room with a dartboard, air hockey table, ski ball, pinball machine (now broken), and a pool table. We even have the same lamp that hung over my parents’ pool table. Truth be told, I never wanted that lamp. I wanted a Budweiser lamp!

I have it all. Right? Not quite …

The pool table provides a large flat surface I can use to sort things—mostly paperwork. For months, I’ve stored years of Toastmasters material on it. Until I decide what to keep, I will not be able to play pool on the pool table I wanted so badly.

Not fun.

Recently, my wife, Susi, needed to practice for a pool tournament—a fundraiser for her Relay for Life cancer walk team. She and our daughter Maggie offered to help clear the pool table.

 Always accept help when it’s offered,
especially for something you don’t feel like doing!

Unfortunately, they don’t know what to keep or toss. And I do not agree with ‘when in doubt, throw it out,’ because I would rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. So, Susi and I removed the material off the pool table, carried it into our daughter Beth’s room, and neatly stacked it in piles on the bed, on the floor, and on any other flat surface we could find.

 

Problem solved! Sort of. Now, what about the rest of the house?