Clutter – Comforting or Hostage-Taking?
How do you define your possessions?
How we describe what we own – from our physical clutter to our thoughts, determines if we’re comforted or taken hostage.
Some love being surrounded by their life’s accumulations. Each item offers a memory. Each thought gives them comfort. Others need to let go. Their ever-changing lives demand it and they shed possessions Kondo-style. (If holding it doesn’t make them happy, it’s gone.)
I am letting go at this time in my life.
I use the principles in STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter – each of us must define the clutter in our lives. We accumulate things and thoughts over time and we must realize they will take time to let go.
I am NOT accumulating any more possessions, unless…
Research shows that when we bring something into our home or office, it’s harder to let go than saying, “No.” Once we take possession of it, we ascribe a higher value to it.
Also, as I often say, “Free is not really free.”
- Where do I put it?
- It’s accumulating dust. I must clean it.
- What if someone takes it?
For this reason, unless I really need it – it serves an immediate purpose – I’d rather not accept it. Sure, I have bought things that I’d never use, but the immediate need is a gift for someone else.
Elders Held Hostage
For over two decades, I’ve worked with elders and families living with dementia. Too often, family members can’t persuade Mom or Dad to move and get the care they need because they’re trapped by their possessions.
“What will become of all my stuff?”
The older we get the more traumatizing it is to let go of our accumulated possessions. We grow attached to the things in our home. For this reason and more, I am letting go, now.
My parents were unable to reduce their possessions. They died leaving a home filled with too many “yesses.” They said, “Yes,” to anyone’s offer of something, instead of saying, “No.” I ended up donating most of their “stuff” after facing the Herculean task during several cross-country trips.
Disaster Strikes
After the 2009 Station Fire swept close enough for us get three evacuation notices, I came away wanting to be a minimalist. It was too stressful deciding what to keep.
Since then, my vision has gotten rather extreme. I imagine being able to pick up at a moment’s notice and go… anywhere! I vision being able to put everything I own in a backpack… well, except for the grand piano.
What do we do with our possessions?
Letting go of clutter is an ongoing process. It’s no different than losing weight. You must keep at it. Only with consistent action will you build your decision-muscles to make the right choices. What will you eat? How much will you eat? What other things will you do, such as exercise and seeing your doctor, to keep in good health?
Managing our accumulated thoughts and physical matter requires vigilance to ensure we’re being comforted instead of being held hostage.
Click on Title to read the New York Times article, below.
The Unbearable Heaviness of Clutter
A cluttered home can be a stressful home, researchers are learning.
Thank you, Ann Vanino for sharing this article.
Retired psychiatrist and fellow Toastmaster, Harald Krueger leaves us on tenterhooks with his parody of STUFFology 101.
Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up takes a Samurai’s approach to ridding ourselves of physical clutter.
To ensure we progress according to our initial vision and that should something happen to either or both of us that our “heirs and assigns” will be confident in carrying out our wishes, we retained a Los Angeles-based Intellectual Property attorney to draft our post-nup.
While in Armenia, I brought home a bottle of Coke with Armenian lettering.
